Interview between Sean Edwards – Publisher Café Culture Magazine and his pet Pug – Reuben Pickles.
I have seen so much serious media and constant negative conversations around new lock-down laws and home isolation during the Covid-19 pandemic.
For some light relief I just have to look to the couch and see a happy face looking back at me with not a care in the world. It’s Reuben our family pet Pug, the outside farm dog who has taken over the inside of the house and thinks a family stuck at home is a great idea. Reuben explained to me how being locked outside for the last two years and watching his humans run past him, with little attention on their daily work duties has also been a forced isolation at another level. Reuben explains.
Reuben – “It’s been a life of suffering for me and other dogs I have chatted to. I always have to wait for the weekend when one of the family members would take me for a beach or park walk because that is when it’s cool to be hanging out with a good looking pug like myself. Anything for Instagram shots, that’s all humans care about I think, I don’t even have a smart phone, I have chewed a few and I will often lick my family’s phones when they leave them low enough for me to get to. Since this virus scare I am now receiving the royal treatment, I get constantly patted and pampered by all the “Fam” and I even get taken outside regularly for a toilet break which has prolonged my bladder health.”
Reuben – “My humans also have some strange exercise habits. They often put on very tight underwear and they bend and twist to spooky music and speak in another tongue. They mention downward dog which gets me excited as I know my flexibility is much better than theirs as I have always been able to comfortably lick my butt with no over straining.”
Sean – I also know Rueben has enjoyed some good home cooking, what are your favourite new dishes we have created in our home?
Reuben – “I have been very much a dry biscuit sort of dog, maybe swing from chicken to beef if my humans get creative in the pet aisle. I really have got fond of Weetbix in the morning with oat milk. My Dad often will put an extra Weetbix in the bowl knowing I am happy to share with him during this high hygiene period. I have been told pugs a quite safe from the human virus and at the moment its only felines that have issues, but I am ok with that. I also enjoy sitting at the end of the table practicing my begging eyes and being a pug. I have the right googly set perfect for begging. This week I got half a baked dinner for five minutes’ worth of sad eyes, bargain!”
Sean – Hey Reuben how are the bedding arrangements now since lock-down?
“During my normal outside lock-downs I get to go from the carport to the dirty old outside lounge that should have been thrown to the dump ten years ago. It has been very uncomfortable as I have been exposed to all weather conditions including thunder (I hate thunder). Now I have full run of every bed in the house – it is utter bliss. But there is one down side of sleeping around, I have been blamed for snoring at night time and for occasional flatulence. My humans are finding it easier to blame the dog, than own up for their own annoying noises and strange smells.”
Sean – Please explain about entertainment options within the home environment.
Reuben – “Getting to hang out with humans in lock-down has made me far more observant and in touch with their strange habits. I have seen some major issues with this species as they only travel small distances in the household. Bedroom to lounge, lounge to kitchen. Lounge to bathroom. Lounge to other lounge. They are also obsessed with watching a flat picture on the wall with fuzzy images with different sounds being omitted. They really should go out into the yard a bit more often and hang out in the garden. I really enjoy when they dig and place plants in the ground as they know it’s my favorite game to dig the plant out and bring it to the porch door, they get so emotional about this little trick of mine. I also love it when they get a nice fermented mulch, the smellier the better for a good old roll on my part. I only do this to fast track bath time from once a month to weekly washes, It all about hygiene in these tough times. Human’s please wash your hands when touching each other and before you touch me.”
Thank you Reuben for your input in this interview and its looks like there could be some hard habits to go back to after lock-downs have lifted. I have a completely different opinion of you now and I appreciate your support with cuddles and the occasional lick. I will promise to get you a new lounge when this is all over and put a doggy door in so you don’t have to beg to go out for a wee.